Quit waiting around for the hoverboard, jump on yesterday's dream technology today – MP4 video watches

MP4 watches! It’s basically the technology we thought we’d be using by now, back in 1996. “Imagine the day you can – how’s this for laughs, Doogie – watch video on your wristwatch! Oh man, imagine that! Porn on your wrist!”

Porn, indeed. Feast your eyes on these seven contraptions that will not only give your wrist a strange sweaty odor when you take it off each night, but allow you to watch MP4s on the move as well. Oh, and tell the time too I suppose…

1.) Firebox watch (top left) – with 2GB of storage capacity, not only can you watch movies on its 1.5″ 260K OLED screen, but also listen to MP3s and view photos. Charging is completed by plugging the watch into your USB slot on your PC, giving you eight hours of video playback. £59.95.

2.) Vavolo watch (middle left) – as with the Firebox watch, it’s got 2GB of memory, and allows for video playback and photo-viewing on the 128 x 128 pixel screen. MP3 and WMA playback is also a feature, as is digital recording. $99.99.

3.) GeekStuff4U metal watch (bottom left) – it’s metal, it’s got a 1.8″ display, and yes, it can play MP3s as well. It’s got one thing the others don’t have, however – the initial 2GB capacity can be boosted to 4GB for a tiny bit extra dosh. $167.40.

4.) Gadget-USB.com watch (top right) – it’s got 4GB of capacity, plus a transmitter for streaming to your car stereo, plus can let you view photos, read e-books and of course, watch video on the 1.8″ screen. $126.

5.) Brando’s MP4 watch II (second from top on right) – available in two sizes, 2GB or 4GB, they have USB sticks for file transfer, a 1.8″ LCD screen and even an external speaker. MP3 playback, FM radio, voice recorder and e-book reader functions all feature also. $92 and $118.

6.) NHJ VTV-201 watch (second from bottom on right) – the 1.5″ LCD screen can pop out so you don’t need to watch grainy streams of Eastenders on your wrist, and the earphones double as the anaologue terrestrial TV aerial. Battery life is one measly hour. £129.99.

7.) CECT W100 watch (bottom right) – not only does it have the usual audio and video capabilities as the above six, it also has – get this – a mobile phone, 1.3-megapixel camera, Bluetooth, FM radio and 1GB memory. Plus, it’s touchscreen.