Killjoy company Paraben launching anti-porn network download analyser

If you spend your lunch break positioning your monitor so no one else can see it and happily browsing through Raven Riley’s charming online photography albums while you deep-throat a Gregg’s sausage roll – YOUR TIME IS UP, SICKO.

Network safety specialist Paraben has revealed the latest development in its world of computerised forensics, a file-scanner that, no doubt thanks to everyone at Paraben spending ages analysing all kinds of porn themselves, can identify DIRTY photos on users’ computers and instantly grass the offender up to the boss. If you’re a fan of beach volleyball you’d better start being more careful…

Paraben’s CEO Amber Schroeder told Cnet that the system can also be deployed in real time, letting it constantly scan images for unusually high numbers of pink tones as the users are downloading them.

A license for Paraben’s anti-porn software will cost around $17,000 for use on up to 500 computers. Which is obscene of a whole different flavour.

(Via Cnet)

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