Video: Green-fingered arsonist's birthday coming up? Get them this…

Birthday candles are a bit twee really, aren’t they? Sure, when you’re a kid their little dancing flames and blown wishes seem magical, but they sort of lose their appeal when you start chain-smoking 40 a day. By that point you need something a little more hardcore. Enter then the Lotus Flower musical candle, enthusiastically demonstrated in the video above, that will blow your face off before playing you a tinkling commiserative Happy Birthday for your troubles.

According to suppliers SourceSquare, the candle is “set off by lighting an incense stick and touching the pistil of the flower, upon which it will eject beautiful pyrotechnics, emblazing the candles automatically; meanwhile it sings a happy birthday melody; and the bud slowly unfolds, like a blooming lotus.”

Blooming lotus? All I can imagine is a load of blooming blisters as you make your way to casualty with 3rd degree burns. Still, if you fancy yourself as a bit “Xtreme” then it’s way cooler than those candles that can’t be blown out I suppose.

Grab one from SourceSquare for $5.99.