Author: Gary Cutlack
UK government not making democracy easy or fun – no "e-voting" for the UK
If you want to exercise your demographic right to say you’d rather have a blue politician representing you than a red one, you’re going to have to carry on with the tiresome old ‘ticking boxes with a pen’ system – there will be no “e-voting” for the likes of us any time soon.
Michael Wills, the minister for justice, told parliament that “The Government does not plan to introduce e-voting for the 2009 European or local elections,” meaning it’s off to the local primary school with your little postcard of power…
The internet is making your brain better and creating a new master race of geeks
Good at filtering information but only have pretend friends you’ve never met in real life? That’s good! That means you have evolved. You are better than other people. You are the next level of mankind.
That is according to neuroscientist Gary Small, who reckons that our brains are already changing and evolving thanks to modern technology. 24/7 access to facts, trivia about Star Trek, text messages and weather forecasts is making People 2.0 better at filtering out rubbish data from useful fact, making us all much better at instantly deciding what to keep/remember and what to bin/forget…
Superb Master Chief Halloween/bank robbery/geeky sex costume
Imagine turning up to your flat mate’s Halloween party dressed like Master Chief. The ladies would be ALL OVER you and your huge plastic muscles and massive plastic battle scars!
Or, if you have a slightly finer and more powerful imagination, imagine robbing a bank or building society dressed as the ‘Halo’ star. The CCTV footage would make news reports across the world. You’d be called the ‘Master Thief’ and would inspire fan fiction, adoration and copycat crimes…
Steve Jobs "heart attack" claim was done by a kid, on the internet, for a laugh
News that Steve Jobs had suffered a “heart attack” swirled around the internet at the beginning of the month, triggering a 5.4% drop in Apple’s share price and causing panic among Apple fans and quite a few tears from more emotional hardware enthusiasts. Only he didn’t have a heart attack. It was a lie. A joke.
The not particularly hilarious “joke” was posted as news by an 18-year-old on “citizen journalist” site iReport, triggering a full investigation by the US government’s Securities and Exchange Commission after it hit Apple’s share price rather hard…
Scientists invent brain-wiping tool for use on feeble mouse brains
If you’ve just been caught doing something by a mouse, science has come up with a useful way to get you off the hook – it can now erase the memories of mice.
This would also mean you could tell a mouse a joke, erase its memory, then tell it the joke again. A mouse could also watch “Total Recall” and be amazed, then erase its own memory of ever having watched “Total Recall” and be amazed by it all over again. Plus you could buy your mouse the same present for Christmas every year and it would never know. The real-world applications for this technology are boundless…
10% of web users take SICK PLEASURE from browsing while on the toilet
What is WRONG with you people? A survey by leading UK internet facilitator Plusnet has found that one-in-ten people have done some web browsing while on the toilet, either at work or risking a written warning by endangering company equipment in the workplace loo.
35% of users regularly go online from the comfort of bed, preferring to anonymously slag a few people off on the internet as a happy and relaxing way to end the day, with 85% of all web users currently hooked up via wi-fi and able to use their PCs wherever they damn well like and TO HELL with public perception…
eBay Nutcase of the Week: American town attempts to sell massive steel bridge
If you happen to be in the market for a massive, ready-made steel bridge, the mayor of Winchendon, Massachusetts has a deal for you.
He’s stuck the local bridge on eBay, for a starting price of $100. If you have the relevant insurance and equipment to move a 90-foot steel bridge, it’s yours. Winchendon doesn’t need it any more as it’s fixing up the area…
VIDEO: Energy & Efficiency, episode 5
It’s bad enough having to wash your clothes, but when the washing process sucks up vast piles of water and electricity and costs you money it’s downright INFURIATING!
Which is why today’s tip addresses how to get your washing machine working for you. Make it more efficient, get it running better while saving money AND the environment in the process. It’s a complete no-brainer!
Can anyone recommend a good plumber…
Extremely finely-crafted Metal Gear Solid 4 PlayStation3 one-off wealthy billionaire edition
Good lord, a PS3 that looks a bit like worth having.
The work of console-customiser Morpheon Mods, this PS3 – complete with the signature of MGS4 creator Hideo Kojima – is currently up on eBay, going for a ludicrous $6000 at time of writing…
The battery-powered Mini E – an electric vehicle cool enough to be seen driving by people you know
Finally, an electric car that doesn’t resemble the sort of thing Noddy & Big Ears would drive around the surface of the Moon.
This is the Mini E, a li-ion-powered electric version of the Mini. It’s a rather severely limited edition model, with only 500 being made – and all of them already earmarked for delivery to the sort of companies that fancy having a fleet of electric Minis on the books to make them look good…
