Author: Gary Cutlack
The UK's identity card scheme has one fatal flaw – no one's bought any card READERS yet
EDITOR’S NOTE: Please read this update while playing the theme tune from Benny Hill in the background.
The UK government may well be pushing ahead with its scheme to start rolling out ID cards to airport staff and other key workers in the security sector, but there’s one rather sizeable problem – the card readers. There aren’t any.
The government apparently failed to budget for the thousands upon thousands of card readers that…
Computertan, the web-based home tanning system powered by LCD rays
Oh dear. Today is a sad day. We have been amused and entertained by a marketing campaign đ
The marketing campaign in question is that of ComputerTan, a supposed online tanning system that uses the deadly rays output by your PC monitor to bring a healthy orange glow to your face while you work.
It is, of course, a joke – perpetrated by UK skin cancer charity Skcin and designed to raise awareness of how bad it is to pursue the tanned look. The Times says some…
Oxford Junior Dictionary ditches "beaver" and "budgerigar" for "blog" and "biodegradable"
The Oxford Junior Dictionary has been slowly removing loads of boring old nature and science words from its recent editions, replacing the likes of “guinea pig” and “monastery” with modern things kids need to know about like “MP3 player” and “broadband”.
This deeply shameful activity by the newly edgy and urban word-explainer has mainly seen numerous nature terms and animal names dumped, but plenty of Christian and other religious words have been removed too – to make way for the likes of “database” and “chatroom”. Ideal if you’re currently hot-housing your kid for a future career in IT…
eBay Nutcase of the Week: DJ selling "famous" 867-5309 number, from Tommy Tutone's 1982 hit
If you’re old enough to remember the news, current events and popular culture of the year 1982, we would firstly like to enquire how your joints are holding up in this cold weather. And your knees OK? How about that dodgy shoulder? And your neck? You might want to start taking some cod liver oil, you know. It really works.
Secondly, we’d like to alert you to this eBay auction – in which a US DJ is selling his business as a way of also getting rid of the New Jersey phone number 867-5309 – made famous by Tommy Tutone’s 1982 hit…
Celebrity Twitter user Stephen Fry in LIVE LIFT TRAP SENSATION
Stephen Fry, who has gone from obscure advert voice-over man and trainee Peter Ustinov to become the WORLD’S MOST FAMOUS PERSON thanks to his embracing of the tech world and Twitter in particular, has, once again, done it.
He got stuck in a lift.
Fortunately, there was a mobile signal available…
Kangaroo slaughtered by Competition Commission – joint BBC, ITV and C4 online TV service axed
Project Kangaroo, the planned online telly service that would’ve combined BBC, ITV and Channel 4 content on one handy site for your viewing pleasure, has been binned.
The EVIL denier of free TV is the Competition Commission which has, incredibly, decided that it would be unfair of the Beeb, ITV and C4 to team up as this might damage rival commercial companies that operating in the same “space” – despite the fact that the rival commercial companies routinely allow their users…
BT MyPlace – personalised location-based news, with a shedload of buzzwords and adverts
Launching for the poor, embattled, snow-bound inhabitants of central London, who are currently IN CRISIS because they can’t get from Pret to Starbucks without getting a bit cold and possibly dirtying their limited edition lime green Nike Air Max 90s on the brown slush, BT MyPlace is what BT MyPlace reckons is the world’s first location-based, personal news service.
The service is co-funded by BT and Westminster Council, so is available for free whenever you’re in range of a BT Openzone hotspot in Westminster “Wireless City”. If that’s you, the “pocket concierge” service will send you all sorts of facts about your location, along with audio walking talks, guide books and restaurant tips…
Panasonic rescuing the reputation of plasma TVs – thinner, more efficient models on the way
Poor old plasma TVs, which have long been tagged as the energy-sucking, gas-guzzlers of the lounge, might be about to have their reputations saved – thanks to Panasonic’s new range.
Panasonic reckons it’s managed to get the energy consumption of a standard plasma TV down by HALF – a move which it’s hoping will boost sales of its TVs by 50% over the coming year, as modern energy-aware shoppers start paying a bit more attention to the numbers on the back of boxes when they buy stuff…
Resident Evil 5 demo pops up for PlayStation3 owners to have a go on for free
We won’t use the fact that the demo of Resident Evil 5 was available for Xbox 360 last week to turn this news into a PS3-bashing exercise. We are so above that. That would be very childish indeed.
However, if you are unfortunate enough to own a PS3 and have jumped through the hoops required to sign up to Sony’s PlayStation Network…
Create EPIC panoramic photographs with the GigaPan EPIC digital camera image stitching robot thing
You know those photo-stitching options you get on digital cameras and phones? You know how they’re rubbish and they never work? So you never use them? Because they’re rubbish? And they never work?
Well this one does. The GigaPan EPIC works because it removes the human being and it’s wobbly handy and blurry vision from the equation, automatically taking then building panoramic photos with megapixel counts that can hit the thousands.
You plop your digital camera in the holder and DigiPan’s PRECISE MOTORISED HAND rotates, snaps and builds…
