Category: Health
Humans hit evolutionary limit – here's how SCIENCE should intervene and make man BETTER
According to some scientist, humans have stopped evolving. This means we’re not going to get any better – at least not naturally.
So I propose science steps in to make us better, seeing as Mother Nature can’t be bothered any more. Here’s how. These are the evolutionary steps scientists need to introduce to our gene pool ASAP.
1. SIDE EYES
Seeing as our ears are always in use listening to MP3s of 1980s cover versions, it’s hard to hear cars, bicycles and lorries coming toward you. I therefore suggest moving our eyes to the sides of our heads, like horses, so we’re less likely to step out in front of buses because we can’t hear them coming. You never hear about horses never get run over because they’re too busy listening to the new Oasis album to listen out for cars, do you?
2. WIDER EAR CANALS
Dunno about you, but my ear holes are never big enough to accommodate all these so-called “in ear” earphones. You know, the ones you’re supposed to ram right in. I ram them in so hard it hurts and my brain pops, yet they still fall out after three minutes when the cable snags on my shirt. I therefore suggest we evolve wider ear holes for better audio clarity and comfort “on the go”…
Pretend to be Beverly Crusher with a "Mother's Kiss" syringe substitute
You can’t deny it, Dr Beverly Crusher was the one of the most popular members of “The Next Generation” Enterprise’s crew. All the male crew wanted her, and all the female crew wanted to be her. She even got to snog Picard in an alternate version of the future. Now, you too can cast smouldering glances at tasty French starship captains by using this hypodermic-syringe alternative – the “Mother’s Kiss”…
Tigers of Tomorrow: HeatBands – for those with Raynaud's Syndrome or just bad circulation
I couldn’t make it to Cambridge today where a small show of some of the most innovative technologies in the UK have gathered. So, via the medium of press release I’m going to bring you a few of the items that sound pretty good even 100 miles away in Old London Town.
First up is HeatBands which are designed to help those with poor circulation and specifically Raynaud’s Syndrome…
Philips launching "Warm Intimate Massager" sex toy for couples within weeks – and the UK is first to try it
The top secret Warm Intimate Massager SEX MACHINE from Philips will be going on sale in the UK later this month, according to business reports from The Times.
Aimed at couples, the baffling and as-yet-unseen gadget will be “nonpenetrative” for your enhanced comfort, available in single and double configurations…
SHOCK: We get "stressed" when not near an internet connection
Worried that someone’s relationship status has just changed on Facebook and you’re in the middle of nowhere and won’t find out until 6.35pm at best? Concerned that someone’s just Twittered about an update to their Flickr page which contains a photo of you taken at 2.25am last Saturday, but you’re eight miles from the nearest wi-fi point?
You are not alone. 27% of Britons apparently suffer from “stress” when not able to go online. This leads to a feeling of uselessness…
eBay Nutcase of the Week: Man selling Microsoft sunglasses for $173,000
But wait! He’s not that much of a nutcase, as these sunglasses were only handed out to Microsoft employees in the 1980s. Which definitely makes them worth the full $173,000, as they are one of the few remaining pairs.
Here’s a fantastic highlight from the listing, explaining in a little more detail why they are such a valuable item for Microsoft collectors…
Get a brainwave using the FeelFree headset
Binaural Beats are weird. Discovered in 1839 by Heinrich Wilhelm Dove, a German physicist and meteorologist, they’re auditory processing artifacts created when you play sounds of slightly different frequencies to each ear. A beating tone is percieved, as if the tones mixed outside the brain. The weird bit, however, is that they appear to entrain brainwaves, producing relaxation and health benfits. Enter the FeelFree headset…
UPDATED: Nike+iPhone = a pretty way of visualising just how unfit you are
Some screenshots have been leaked of an updated version of the Nike+ iPod, the shoe/music player hybrid for athletics training and the like, redesigned for the iPhone.
Japanese Olympic medallist used Nintendo's Wii to get himself used to the stadium
This is a gift. A gift to Nintendo from Japanese swimmer Kosuke Kitajima. He won the Olympic gold medal in the 100m breaststroke, and, Nintendo and SEGA’s PR people will be pleased to hear, name checks Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games as his motivation.
Well, kind of. He mentioned it. He said he used it to help him have a look around the swimming venue. Here’s exactly what he said…
This time scientists give mice a live-forever liver.. so unfair.
Can someone please tell me exactly what is so very wrong with mice that Scientists are determined to spend so much time supe-ing them up?!
Last week i wrote about scientists who created exercise-in-a-pill for mice. Well, this week, different lab-coat wearing mouse-botherers from the Albert Einstein College of Medicine at Yeshiva University in New York, have gone and genetically modified a lil’ mouse’s liver to stop the aging process in it. And it’s worked, apparently.
