Don’t bother checking your washing machine in the kitchen, there, I haven’t stolen the insides, don’t worry! The only crime which has been committed here is dredging up the one gigabyte’s past life, back when she was a plus-sized model trying to make it in the world, before she slimmed down to the size-zero SD card we know so well.

The IBM hard drive above is 22 years old, and weighs around 70lbs. Quite a remarkable difference 20 years can make,…