eBay Nutcase of the Week: DJ selling "famous" 867-5309 number, from Tommy Tutone's 1982 hit

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If you’re old enough to remember the news, current events and popular culture of the year 1982, we would firstly like to enquire how your joints are holding up in this cold weather. And your knees OK? How about that dodgy shoulder? And your neck? You might want to start taking some cod liver oil, you know. It really works.

Secondly, we’d like to alert you to this eBay auction – in which a US DJ is selling his business as a way of also getting rid of the New Jersey phone number 867-5309 – made famous by Tommy Tutone’s 1982 hit

eBay Nutcase of the Week: Jon Ward auctions date with himself for… £46

Spurred on by the sorry tale of that American slapper who auctioned her alleged virginity for several million dollars, long-term Potters Bar singleton Jon Ward decided to sell an all-expenses-paid night out with himself “in London” on eBay.

The listing’s ended, but you can read Jon’s excellent self-oriented sales speak here.

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The result? A lady called “sexysarah2009” bought an evening with Jon…

eBay Nutcase of the Week: eBay itself, for removing kids WWII board game that "incited racial hatred"

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Poor old Paul Ramsier found himself accused of inciting racial hatred – by trying to sell an old World War II-themed board game on everyone’s favourite online junk shop.

Paul’s descent into the world of inadvertent racial hatred started when he realised his old Escape from Colditz board game was worth quite a bit nowadays, so he listed it up on eBay. The auction hit the lofty heights of £20, before eBay yanked the sale…

eBay Nutcase of the Week: Turkey-slaughterer selling "famous" turkey killed during Sarah Palin interview

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Lots of things get killed whenever Sarah Palin opens her mouth – the English language, common sense, hope and dreams – but the most famous was this poor turkey, butchered in the background of a news report as Sarah ‘Gee, Mom!’ Palin rambled incoherently about America for ages and ages.

The famous deceased turkey is now available on eBay , with the seller promising “the official turkey from the video which comes with a letter of authenticity…

Unsentimental Alton Towers coldly flogs off chunks of its Corkscrew rollercoaster on eBay

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A reader who calls himself “Stretchy” has just alerted us to this awesome bit of history-making eBay activity – Alton Towers is flogging off the front car of its long-running Corkscrew rollercoaster.

The description over at Alton Towers’ site says you’re getting “The most unique Christmas present EVER!” if, by some incredible longshot, you happen to have a friend or family member who’s just asked for a bit of a closed rollercoaster as one of their Christmas presents this year…

Do your Christmas shopping on a budget with Local Bargain Finder

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Ignore the rather utilitarian design on localbargainfinder.co.uk – what’s behind the site is surprisingly powerful. It’s a set of custom eBay searches that allow you to find auctions near your geographical location, as well as check for negative feedback on bidders and check commonly misspelled variants of your search items.

The service is designed mainly for big bulky stuff, like fridges, etc, that are a pain to ship across the country, but there’s plenty of money-saving application here for Christmas, too. I can tell you right now that someone I know might be getting a Retro TV stand (pictured) or a Silver Ford Focus bonnet in their stocking this year. It’s amazing how much stuff is listed as ‘Pickup only’. If you find any bargains, don’t hesitate to let us know in the comments.

Local Bargain Finder

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eBay Nutcase of the Week: Any American trying to sell Yankee Stadium cup holders

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If you’re (a) American or (b) Japanese and are into baseball, you may be tempted to get yourself a “vial of actual infield soil taken from Yankee Stadium” – yours for around $70.

If you’re too worried to buy unofficial dirt, plenty of official dirt – with certificates of authenticity – is also available…