Still single? Why not become a spy for MI6?

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Sigh. For all of the benefits that Facebook has given us, like easier communication with friends, a way of finding out gossip on what your adversaries from school are doing now and a means of sharing identikit pictures from evenings out clubbing, it’s certainly taken away the allure and mystery of certain things too. No longer do people take time in forming relationships and keeping their friends guessing – Facebook knows for sure, and has turned relationships into a strictly binary yes-or-no arrangement, and no longer are you allowed to feel shades of emotion, but you must either be REALLY HAPPY or SAD AND DEPRESSED, and you must broadcast this in your Facebook status. Unfortunately, this isn’t the end of Facebook’s influence.

In years gone by, shadowy men would approach the brightest and best in society, tap them on the shoulder and talk in ambiguous terms about working for their country, and only over time would they realise that they want them to become a spy. In the Facebook century though, MI6 has, instead of headhunting from Oxbridge, gone for placing recruitment adverts on Facebook instead. This seems like something as a climbdown for an organisation so mysterious, we mostly know it from the romanticised, glamourous version we see in the Bond films. MI6 could be only really shatter the illusion more if they let it be known that all recruits have to read the Health & Safety At Work Act poster on the wall in the canteen, and participate in quarterly appraisals where targets are set (unless those targets are “Terrorists and baddies”).

EXCLUSIVE: Plaster your friends' faces onto tshirts with Super Photos from Photobox

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Photo printing service Photobox, who specialise in putting pictures of cats onto mugs, and that sort of thing, are extending their API to integrate with Facebook. Very soon you’ll be able to put any photos from your Facebook account onto mousemats, or paperweights, or keyrings, or even onto stretched canvas. Just the thing for a last minute birthday present for Mum – your grinning face on a handbag…

Facebook overtakes MySpace, awaits passive aggressive status update in response

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New figures out today suggest that Facebook has supplanted MySpace as the world’s most popular social network, boasting 132m people in June versus MySpace’s 117.5m. A spokesperson for MySpace said in reaction to the news “It’s not fair, everyone hates me, the only person who understands me is Gerard Way from My Chemical Romance. Mood: Sad & Depressed :(“