Hot Coffee laid to rest: turns out NOBODY actually gave a shit

Remember the GTA: San Andreas Hot Coffee scandal? Of course you don’t, you were busy updating your Bebo profile, chatting on MSN messenger, patiently explaining to people why Limewire was so much better than YouTube, and all those other archaic things we used to do. Ah, the heady days of youth.

Rest assured though, Hot Coffee nearly brought the games industry to its knees, and certainly not in a good kind of ‘Thai massage’ way either. A naughty hacker squirreled deep within the game’s code and discovered a desperately unexciting sex-based mini game and produced a patch to unlock it.

VIDEO REVIEW: Grand Theft Auto IV. Does it live up to the gargantuan levels of hype?

Well, GTA IV’s out today. It actually happened. They made a new Grand Theft Auto game, for Xbox 360 and PlayStation3, then put it in the shops. Good god, they actually went and did it. It’s here! Men all over the country are scouring branches of Currys for the few remaining unsold copies so they have something to do tonight.

So here’s a review of GTA IV in video form. Sorry it’s not very informative. And sorry it doesn’t show you very much of the game. And sorry about the attempted East European accent. But you do at least get to see Niko standing motionless beside a car for nearly four minutes. No other web site will be offering you that today.

In case you literally can’t stand to watch more than the first 15 seconds of that nonsense, here’s a brief summary – GTA IV is awesome. It delivers…

The Pirate Bay goes Grand Theft Auto IV themed – as 1000s of people download GTA torrents

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Good god, The Pirate Bay sure does love making a nuisance of itself.

As Grand Theft Auto IV publisher Take Two tries to fight fires and extinguish the YouTube videos, torrents, and various other leaks regarding GTA IV ahead of its April 29 global release, everyone’s favourite ABOVE THE LAW piracy portal has stuck two fingers up at T2 and developer Rockstar – renaming itself The Liberty Bay…