It’s a fairly ugly and nondescript MP3 player, so why are we showing it to you, you ask? Check out the back of the player – it has a safety pin clip, so you can pin it to your lapel amongst the numerous musical buttons you’re rocking, reaffirming your indie cred. Or is that dork cred?

I’m thinking the latter, particularly because Newman has named this player the COOL MAN, complete with capitalised letters. The rest of the…