This had better be an early April Fools joke or edgy and underground viral marketing campaign, or society’s in a much worse state than we previously thought.

The East End’s fashionably run down student heartland of Brick Lane is apparently about to get padded lampposts, in order to protect “inattentive” (STUPID) pedestrians from breaking their (STUPID) faces when bumping into them while texting their “M8s.”